The degrading laughter..
You get a sincere compliment; a statement like...
you are intelligent, you are ladylike, you are very strong. It all sounds so funny to you and you suddenly start laughing.
Let's see this conversation I made up:
Bolt: "You are so young yet so put together,intelligent, a lady..."'
This starts to sound funny to Carmen then all of a sudden she burst out into laughter.
Carmen: "Ha ha ha ha"
Bolt: *....total silence or if lucky enough asks why you are laughing*
Let's go the opposite way
Carmen: "Can you please help me with maths?I know you are one of the intelligent ones.."
This starts to sound funny to Bolt or makes him a bit uncomfortable then all of a sudden usually one of this two scenarios take place:
A.Scenario
Bolt:"Nah, i'm not that intelligent..."
B. Scenario
Bolt:"Haha you really think so?"
Carmen: *long silence.. startled*
And the list and stories go on and on and on, with even more group of people...
Do you know what happened now?
This is a lesson i learned and i found really interesting that i had to share with you to help others too.
The person has a belief in you lets say 70% so complements or states positive things about you.You on the other hand because maybe you don't want to look overly prideful,don't believe that much in your potential or maybe due to self esteem issues you brush it off.And how?With the laughter.That laughter don't always come in a negative or cynical way.Sometimes it just pops out on it's own without wanting to be mean or anything.That same laughter makes the person start questioning you...Why did he/she laughed, maybe she/he is right; she/he knows herself/himself better than i do...you then get that 70% belief the person had for you and lower it into a 30% or sometimes even deplete it.All this happened without you nor i taking notice and that's the sad part of it.Instead you should enhance the 70% into a 100% without being prideful.That keeps both positive and you keeping a balance that's healthy to your esteem.I hope this was helpful to someone.
Let me go back to the scenario in a right form:
Bolt: "You are so young yet so put together,intelligent, a lady..."'
Carmen: "Thanks.I appreciate your kind words.That shows that my hard work it paying off"
Bolt: *smiles*
Let's go the opposite way
Carmen: "Can you please help me with maths?I know you are one of the intelligent ones.."
This starts to sound funny to Bolt or makes him a bit uncomfortable then all of a sudden usually one of this two scenarios take place:
Bolt:"Okay let me see what you've got, i'll try to help as much as i can."
Do you see the difference?Put yourself in both shoes and you will get what i mean.So lets try to remove that degrading laughter away and work on being a better person.
Be aware of the degrading laughter :)
Life is simple!
Don't forget to follow,comment and share you own tips.
Have a great day!
Please do not copy without permission.
written by Glorious Angel for http://beautybookworm.blogspot.com
0 comments